How to Stop Intimacy

Interrupting with Your Own Irrelevant Feelings:

"I know how you feel. I've had it myself."
 
(I'm not interested in you. Shut up and listen to me.)

Denying feelings:

"Don't feel bad. Everyone has problems sometimes."

Discounting feelings:

"Don't worry about it;  it'll work out"
 Or, "At least you can recover from this."

Scolding the Aggressor:

Before the victim has had a chance to defend himself.

Expressing Your Empathy with Victims:

Before they have had a chance to express their own feelings.

Changing the Subject too Soon:

Before the people in the encounter have had sufficient chance to explore their feelings.

Expressing Boredom:

Expressing contempt for the others.

For further related articles see Answers for Families and Patients:

• How to Tell You're Really in Love  (Open New Window)
• Normality  (Open New Window)
• Shutting Up People  (Open New Window)

See also:

• Your Child (1998 Harper Collins)
• Your Adolescent (1999 Harper Collins)

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